Out Among Humans

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

My kids reported that university classrooms offer limited social interaction. My classes followed that pattern. People didn’t greet one another. There was little talk; laughter was rare. Our professors were under pressure to march through the broad curriculums of freshman survey courses.

Lab periods in Earth Science were an exception. Teams of students had the opportunity to share notes and answers. Some of the guys became comfortable enough to use my first name – it had been a courteous “sir” before that.

On the final day, we walked out of our classroom separately as we each finished our exams. Poof, we were gone! Like those hotels lined up out by the airport, community colleges are for transients.

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

“Hey, algebra – bite me!”

I didn’t know it but I spent 137 hours and 27 minutes studying—ready for this?—HIGH SCHOOL math! And, my advisor told me, I need another HIGH SCHOOL math course before I actually study for-real COLLEGE math! Forgive the caps and the bangs but I am piqued by this duplicity! I’m also kind of intimidated—I applied myself but I could only come up with a lousy B in Fundamentals of Algebra? By the way, tip for fellow freshmen: algebra and wine before dinner is a good combination.

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

They’re young, hungry and teething – the modern-day version of the American pioneer. Our student body has a high percentage of minorities and immigrants, many from the Middle East and Asia. Spanish is a native tongue to many, lecture notes are jotted in a broad range of languages. They choose a community college so they can stay near families that depend on them to navigate the American system.

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

I discovered many of the professors we trust to help kids find career path are themselves trapped in dead ends – not just at community colleges but at elite universities as well. “Adjunct” professors are part-time contract workers without a hint of job security or benefits. They’re the first to fall prey to belt tightening. They can be bumped from the lectern on the first day of a semester. Despite masters and doctoral degrees, they may find themselves driving long distances, teaching at two or more colleges. Walmart meets Harvard!

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

Days before the fall term, in line for assessment testing. Turns out no one is interested in transcripts from the Kennedy years. We took three tests: reading (did well), writing (they weren’t impressed) and math (elementary algebra, here I come). I was in a line fifty years ago waiting to be vaccinated, barbered, issued uniforms and gear – the sense of surrender was familiar.