“I’M NOT myself tonight.” Dick told Jane.

Dick’s the kind of man Jane has coveted since adolescence. A man with an appetite.

As a student at an evangelical university, Dick sowed his way up and down sorority row.

A few years later, he was voted the sexiest man at the White House. Ivanka managed to introduce herself several times.

But this past year of unemployment, subpoenas and threats from extremist groups and former White House conspirators –desperate to dictate his testimony –is taking a toll.

It doesn’t help that Nancy Pelosi and Liz Cheney climb into bed with him every night.

Jane had learned to fake her evenings with that middle-aged banker she almost married.

But Dick is at the mercy of things he doesn’t control. He can’t hide. He can’t phone it in.

Cialas jokes aren’t as amusing as they used to be.

Pat Shiplett

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Pat Shiplett

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