Out Among Humans

The laughter turned into something more physical, suggestions of intense pain or pleasure or something in between.Cyn and Lou knew it was the house for them.

The vintage clapboard had a charm and integrity they found lacking in the world around them. It had a practical appeal as well. There was a rental apartment upstairs that would help them build equity. Positive cash flow couldn’t come too early in life.

Cyn and Lou liked the idea of having tenants. Their upstairs neighbors might become family, beloved aunties and uncles to their young child. With the right chemistry they might babysit for free.

The young couple that came to see about the apartment was exactly what the landlords had in mind. Barbara was a slight woman with a blush in her cheeks and her Lloyd was certainly presentable enough. A background check showed they had graduated from local Catholic high schools and worked office jobs.

The young couple decided to come back on their wedding night and spend their honeymoon there. The bridesmaid and best man stopped by as well. During a moment of celebration the flowers in the Cyn’s spring garden were trampled. In hindsight squirt guns filled with champagne seemed like a mistake.

Apologies were given and accepted.

The landlords’ forbearance paid off. The tenants proved to be neat and thoughtful. They left a check in the mailbox each month. Cyn and Lou came to hope they would stay forever.

That summer arrived hot. The renters rigged a series of fans to pull a draft through their rooms while Cyn and Lou escaped the heat on their front porch.

One Sunday afternoon Cyn and Lou heard laughter float out of the open bedroom window located just above the porch. Because of the fans the newlyweds couldn’t hear that the family was sitting below them.

The laughter turned into something more physical, suggestions of intense pain or pleasure or something in between. Then the sounds stopped.

Cyn and Lou were scandalized.

When Lou confronted the couple some days later, he asked the young man if he was abusing his wife. “What kind of people are you?” The newlyweds looked at him with surprise and embarrassment but they didn’t apologize.

“We want you out of the apartment by the end of the month.” Lou said.

When the subject of the eviction came up over the years, Lou would recall his relief when the two loaded their U-Haul-It and drove off.

Cyn had been as relieved as her husband, but for reasons of her own.

She was envious of what she heard through that bedroom window. She was haunted by the suspicion that the young married couple was doing exactly what a young married couple should be doing with its Sunday afternoons.

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A remarkable number of people bet on promises they know are too good to be true.Carl Mendenhall came to their houses on some New Year’s Eves — other years they went to his.

Blizzards, sub-zeros temperatures, icy roads, nothing stopped the three families from being together.

Carl had a face made for making kids laugh and the more beer he drank the more useful that face became. “I’m a card.” he liked to say about himself. (‘A card’ used to mean someone who jokes around.)

The Weichels and the Mendenhalls and the kids’ parents played poker and shared limburger cheese, pickled pigs’ feet, whiskey and such. The stationary tube in the basement was filled to the top with chipped ice and soft drinks. The kids could eat and drink as much as they wanted that one night of the year. Every light in the house was lit, including the fake fireplace and the enameled sconces over the mantel. It was a show of good cheer.

One New Year’s Eve, Carl offered a wager to the younger kids, He bet them they couldn’t stay awake until midnight.

“Go get one of your dollars and put it there in the middle of the floor where we can keep an eye on it.” he said to them.

“If you can stay awake until the new year, you win. You can pick that dollar right up and put it in your pocket. It’s yours to spend anyway you want.”

The kids’ parents and older siblings tried to explain Carl’s scam. But what with the sugar and the freedom they enjoyed that night, the little ones wanted nothing more than to believe.

This New Year’s Eve is a particularly good time to remember Carl Mendenhall and his trick.

During the past year a remarkable number of people — not a majority but enough to make a difference — placed a bet on promises they know are too good to be true.

And now we all have a dollar sitting on the floor, at risk.

But this time the bet is going to be harder to win. Instead of staying awake until midnight we’ll have stay awake for the next four years.