The Sneeze
People at a coffee shopIt’s amazing how many friendships at our coffee shop start with an orgasm.It’s not that the people working in the windows are unfriendly.
It’s just that they’re busy. Some are working remotely on an employer’s clock, some on projects with impossible due dates. The PhD candidates are focused, focused, focused.
You can spend weeks without sharing the first word with a stranger next to you. Then the unexpected happens and the unspoken code of silence is broken by a sudden sneeze, or likely by a series of sneezes.
That involuntary convulsion* is greeted with a ‘bless you,’ ‘gesundheit’ or other expression of ‘good health.’ Once those words are uttered you and the stranger are on speaking terms, however limited.
Weeks pass, it’s still tentative at this point. You may ask to plug in your power adapter or briefly, very briefly, compare laptop devices.
But with enough time the big question will inevitably be breached: “What the fuck are you working on?”
Suddenly you’re discussing careers, childhood memories, foibles, allergies to synthetics. You’re talking existential threats and sharing photos of pets.
There are myths aplenty about sneezing: It’s as close as you can get to death. Cupid’s sneezes shape the course of love. Someone is gossiping about you. And who are we to say none of this is so?
Unlike the sneeze, the hiccup is greeted with silent bemusement in the windows of our coffee shop. Flatulence is a different matter.
* Here’s what happens: Particles tickle nasal passage, palate and palatine uvula push down and back, tongue lifts to close mouth; vapors escape mostly through the nose with force and velocity.
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