Out Among Humans

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

“Hey, algebra – bite me!”

I didn’t know it but I spent 137 hours and 27 minutes studying—ready for this?—HIGH SCHOOL math! And, my advisor told me, I need another HIGH SCHOOL math course before I actually study for-real COLLEGE math! Forgive the caps and the bangs but I am piqued by this duplicity! I’m also kind of intimidated—I applied myself but I could only come up with a lousy B in Fundamentals of Algebra? By the way, tip for fellow freshmen: algebra and wine before dinner is a good combination.

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

They’re young, hungry and teething – the modern-day version of the American pioneer. Our student body has a high percentage of minorities and immigrants, many from the Middle East and Asia. Spanish is a native tongue to many, lecture notes are jotted in a broad range of languages. They choose a community college so they can stay near families that depend on them to navigate the American system.

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

I discovered many of the professors we trust to help kids find career path are themselves trapped in dead ends – not just at community colleges but at elite universities as well. “Adjunct” professors are part-time contract workers without a hint of job security or benefits. They’re the first to fall prey to belt tightening. They can be bumped from the lectern on the first day of a semester. Despite masters and doctoral degrees, they may find themselves driving long distances, teaching at two or more colleges. Walmart meets Harvard!

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

Days before the fall term, in line for assessment testing. Turns out no one is interested in transcripts from the Kennedy years. We took three tests: reading (did well), writing (they weren’t impressed) and math (elementary algebra, here I come). I was in a line fifty years ago waiting to be vaccinated, barbered, issued uniforms and gear – the sense of surrender was familiar.

Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman

I’m a tourist in this land. For the natives who live here, grades have high-stake, life-shaping consequences. I take the work seriously, but for me this adventure is purely academic. I can stroll through the markets and cafes and then go back to my hotel room for an afternoon nap.