Fallen Angels, S2 E12, Oath Keepers and Phoebe

Harlan walked into the storefront compound (recently a shuttered Dunkin Donuts) with something hissing and struggling inside a burlap sack.

“Them two’ll think twice about throwin’ us under the bus.” he declared.

Harlan left a note telling Jane and Dick they’d get Phoebe back after they testify the rioters were “…following the Commander in Chief’s orders” and “…don’t make us sound stupid.”

“What are we gonna do with a goddamn cat?” groaned the one-eyed guy in charge.

“Like we planned to hang Pence!” a guy said.

“Like Junior Trump cut off the tail of an elephant!” another suggested.

“You guys are fucking idiots! We need Dick and Jane on our side.” the one-eyed man replied.

He’s seen the median IQ of his new recruits plummet since the indictments came down.

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Fallen Angels, S2 E11,

JANE and Dick had finally been recognized.

They were so thrilled with the creative fee they’d been offered that they’d spent the entire windfall before they billed the project.

The timing was perfect. Their wardrobes were months out-of-fashion and the sommeliers across DC had stopped humoring them.

Their assignment was to talk up the good points of Vladimir Putin, giving cover to Trump Republicans who lined up to call him a ‘genius’ for invading a peaceful, sovereign neighbor.

Dick and Jane love democracy and hate seeing cluster bombs used on telegenic civilians but as professionals, they have a service to sell.

Strangely enough, their anonymous clients seemed even more thrilled with their fee than they were.

The Does weren‘t aware that they’d been bargaining in rubles, now at .0075 to 1 USD.

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Fallen Angels, S2 EP10, Dick’s Problem

“I’M NOT myself tonight.” Dick told Jane.

Dick’s the kind of man Jane has coveted since adolescence. A man with an appetite.

As a student at an evangelical university, Dick sowed his way up and down sorority row.

A few years later, he was voted the sexiest man at the White House. Ivanka managed to introduce herself several times.

But this past year of unemployment, subpoenas and threats from extremist groups and former White House conspirators –desperate to dictate his testimony –is taking a toll.

It doesn’t help that Nancy Pelosi and Liz Cheney climb into bed with him every night.

Jane had learned to fake her evenings with that middle-aged banker she almost married.

But Dick is at the mercy of things he doesn’t control. He can’t hide. He can’t phone it in.

Cialas jokes aren’t as amusing as they used to be.

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Fallen Angels, S2 E9, Phoebe’s Missing

Phoebe normally comes running when Dick and Jane get home, jumping up onto the banister so she can greet them at eye level.

At other times the pampered calico plays hard- to-get and demands bribes before she graces Dick and Jane with her presence.

Jane came back from yoga this morning ready for a round of “Where’s Phoebe” before her shower.But Phoebe wasn’t in any of her favorite hiding places – not under the towels in the hall or behind the fridge, not tucked into the Murphy bed or the dumbwaiter unused for decades.

Phoebe was being especially naughty this morning but Jane had seen all this before. She wasn’t worried until she saw that Phoebe’s food and water bowls were missing.

She found a note instead. “We’ll take care of your cat if something happens to you.”

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Fallen Angels, S2 E8, Threat

Word that subpoenas were served to Dick and Jane Doe ricocheted across the dark web.

Networks that planned the Jan. 6 riot were on high alert. They‘d already swept the couple’s apartment and had planted an operative posing as a cleaning lady to record their conversations.

The stalkers are stepping up their efforts to control what Jane and Dick will say under oath.

The couple wondered if it wouldn’t be safer to refuse to testify and go to jail than to be outside where the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers can get their hands on them. They’ve consulted the FAQ page of the witness security program offered by the U.S. Marshals Service.

Dick’s family retains a cadre of hardened security firms but the Does turned their backs on their son when he went to work for the Trump White House and took up with “that woman.”

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