Keating – impure thoughts

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They fundamentally misunderstood the nature of impure thoughts and of the children who thought them. They failed to notice that as early as the first grade girls start to whisper about boys and boys show off in return.

They forgot that on the sixth day of genesis, God created glands.

They were desperate. They decided if they couldn’t eradicate sexual stirrings among 13-year-olds, they could at least scare the devil out of them. Across the country, millions of young teens were forced to take a pledge to avoid “impure thoughts, words and deeds.” Impure meaning sexual.

The Legion of Decency and Citizens for Decent Literature led the hysteria. It seemed so righteous at the time, and it felt so good.

They told the children that impure thoughts — not matter how innocent — could lead to eternal damnation. Imagine, girls and boys, holding your hand over of a candle and never being able to move it away.

Some time later the same Charles Keating, founder of CDL and defender against all things prurient, would be in the news again. He was indicted for running scams through his savings and loans, cheating more than twenty thousand people with worthless bonds.

Unlike the children he threatened with eternal damnation, Charles Keating was protected by the Cruel and Unusual Punishment Clause of the Eighth Amendment. He served less than five years in federal prison, on a plea bargain.

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Private Detective #3 Gun at camera

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…so this goon who works for a nefarious, underworld kingpin who is strong-arming my client — a beautiful, long-legged vixen of course— has me cornered in a gritty but overpriced public-parking garage. His gun is pointed directly at my head.

I’ve counted how many of those Teflon-coated rounds he’s got left. (Private dicks like me always count shots fired.)

So he goes like “Say your prayers, Bulldog.” with a brusque but politically correct and therefore highly marketable foreign accent. He raises his piece, trigger finger twitching and then…and then…

(OH NO!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!!”)

The old fool who is developing me as the lead character of his story decides to stop writing mid-sentence…and chat with Debbi.

And then…the old fool gets himself some water.

And then…he talks to the kid from the theological seminary.

And then…he checks his email (Visa is insisting on s a new password).

And then…he closes “Private Detective Episode 3.docx” without saving it.

And then…he ignores the project for another month leaving me frozen in time with a gun pointed at my head, wondering how I’m gonna look with the Holland Tunnel between my eyes. Closed casket, please.

A little advice to anyone who wants to get into the fictional-character game. Don’t quit your day job, avoid parking garages and stay away from old men with keyboards.

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Dasha Creativity project

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Don’t let my friend’s smile fool you. Dasha would like nothing more than to take a slice out of your brain.

Meet Dr. Darya Zabelina, PhD. She’s conducting clinical research to unlock the mysteries of creativity. She was kind enough to explain (slowly) the critical role of the anterior cingulate cortex in creative thinking. Who knew?

Dasha is headed for England flush with a $200,000 grant from the John Templeton Foundation. Hers is one of the winners out of 350 submissions.

Here’s what she knows:

“A-ha moments” can happen anywhere. The manager of a short-order kitchen may be as brilliant as a pioneer heart surgeon. Preparing an omelet can be a benchmark of genius.

To earn the 5 light-bulb award an idea has to be useful — finger paintings by kids might be inventive but so what? Passion and patience are important. People sometimes play with variables for years before they have an “instant” epiphany.

Dasha’s team uses EEGs and FMRIs to grab digital images (slices) as the brain lights up during creative challenges, all the while she is capturing quantitative data.

Is smarter better? Yes and no. Increases in creativity flatten out with above-average IQs. And while you do need knowledge and experience —you want to be careful, over-learning can actually dull the imagination.

Are mad scientists and tortured playwrights more creative than you and me? Emotional problems make it harder to be productive. Alcohol can give a sense of creative euphoria that disappears the next morning. (I’ve done research on that myself.)

Dasha immigrated from Bishkek in north-central Kyrgystan when she was 16 and later earned her doctorate at Northwestern University. Her recent paper to the American Psychological Association was extremely well received.

I asked Dasha if creativity rubs off. Does she have to brush ingenuity off of her clothes before she leaves work? Has exploring imagination made her more imaginative? She couldn’t say, but the Templeton crew obviously thinks so.

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3 generation krafft family

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When friends responded to my email asking for comments for Fathers Day, one thing became obvious. Losing a father at an early age changes just about everything.

Our local coffee joint is something of a petri dish. You can observe that when new friends begin to explain who they are, they often mention that they had lost a father or mother at an early age. It was a powerful, recurring theme for Dickens and Twain. Poor Harry Potter.

Maybe that’s why finding three generations of fathers and sons (Eric, Andrew and Eric) sitting together is something worth noticing.

Eric will emerge from under the tables where spelunkers his age love to explore, and climb onto the lap of his father, Andrew. Eric will lock an arm around his father’s neck, lean over and whisper something important to his grandfather, the man for whom he was named.

One of the three is a survivor of the Holocaust, one flew combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, one of them Is just now getting himself ready for kindergarten

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Brooklyn Tabernacl

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The faithful and non-believers alike line up for hours on Smith Street outside the Brooklyn Tabernacle. They are all ages and nationalities. Some are looking for musical bliss, others for the promise of eternal life. No one leaves disappointed.

Clap if you will, sing if you can. The words “Nothing but the blood of Jesus” are seen on the screen. The young Irish fiddler puts down her instrument and performs a jig. As many as 3200 visitors will be lifted to a state of near rapture for exactly 2 hours at which time the control booth reboots for the next service. If you’re using Access-A-Ride, enter 533.

After the devotion a number of congregants board the F Train where they see the shape of a man writhing under layers of clothing. Even the Gutter Punks and Crusties with their pit bulls crowd to the ends of the car, away from the liquid flowing along the length of the floor.

He is the least of their brethren but no one bathes his feet or anoints him with oil. Homilies are no match for New York City.

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