nba wannabee jeron

02/26/2015 by Pat Shiplett Leave a Comment

Everything about J says NBA. He has all the right jerseys with all the right numbers. His shorts and shoes have matching power logos. He’s twitchy in the classroom.

When we introduced ourselves he told us he holds a free-throw record. He’s at our community college just to pick up a few stray credits.

He moves his body in the way only a sure-to-be draft pick would, a swagger that answers to nobody. During lectures he keeps himself busy with cans of soda and bags of chips.

There are only five of us so we get frequent turns at exercises. When it’s J’s turn, he’ll throw a head fake and get rid of the ball as fast as he can. J is bright but he wastes our time.

He’s confident that coaches, not academics, will decide his future and that money, celebrity and an NBA career will rescue him from this purgatory of lectures and labs.

J reached his full adult height several years ago. He stands five feet, four inches tall.

Lucy Danger and Dex

02/13/2015 by Pat Shiplett Leave a Comment

Dex is the first critical encounter of the day for many people . He’s a transformative figure. Before you see him, a day is nothing more than possibilities.

Dex traffics in a vice not associated with a substantial health risk or with a moral failing. “Look how pretty it is!” a young woman beams as Dex foams a flower on her cappuccino.

Not long ago the barista and Jamie gave birth to beautiful baby girl. They aced the daunting responsibility new parents face. They bequeathed an inspired combination of names to their daughter.

Baby Lucy’s middle name is “Danger.” Dex says they plan to address her as Danger unless, of course, she wants to be Lucy. They’ll undoubtedly combine the two names when emphasis is needed as in: “Lucy Danger, clean your room!” or “Lucy Danger, we are so so proud of you!”

A Social Security database shows Danger appearing six years ago as a first name for a few boys. It sounds kind of desperate for a guy but as a middle name for someone named Lucy, it strikes a pitch-perfect chord.

Danger begins life immunized against mean girls, feckless suitors and identity thieves. How many country-western ballads she’ll inspire is anybody’s guess.

Harold’s cat (Copy of original)

01/28/2024 by Pat Shiplett 2 Comments

Harold referred to Sebastian simply as “the cat.” It wasn’t until after Sebastian died that Harold told us his name.

For 12 years Harold and Sebastian (a name his previous owner had chosen) shared a comfortable, second-floor, 60s-era condominium.

For the first nine years a very pretty calico named Julie lived with them. Julie was coquettish, sunny and solicitous, something of a daddy’s girl.

Sebastian was not the smartest cat in the Friskies commercials and his play often turned into something Julie didn’t enjoy.

Harold says cats without claws (another decision by Sebastian’s first owner) feel defenseless and resort to using their teeth. Julie did have claws and could fight back but she hated being cornered by her roommate.

It wasn’t until Julie passed away that Sebastian acknowledged that Harold even existed.

On a scale of ten Harold rates his enjoyment of Sebastian as only a five, considering moments of “cuteness,” maybe a six. But there were also times when the tabby’s approval sank into Richard Nixon territory. Those teeth.

A good diet with occasional table scraps, visits to the vet, a clean and safe place to live, Harold provided everything a pet could ask for. He believes Sebastian took life on Hinman Avenue for granted. He had never foraged in the alley or needed to outsmart the coyotes.

As Harold gave us updates on Sebastian’s decline he showed the concern and exhaustion common to caregivers. “You can love a cat without liking him.” he told us. “Liking is an emotion, loving is a responsibility.”

Harold’s cat

02/08/2015 by Pat Shiplett Leave a Comment

Harold referred to Sebastian simply as “the cat.” It wasn’t until after Sebastian died that Harold told us his name.

For 12 years Harold and Sebastian (a previous owner had chosen the name) shared a comfortable, second-floor, 60s-era condominium.

For the first nine years a pretty calico named Julie lived with them. Julie was coquettish, sunny and solicitous, something of a daddy’s girl.

Now Sebastian wasn’t the smartest cat in the Friskies commercial and his play often turned into something Julie didn’t enjoy.

Harold says cats without claws (another decision by the first owner) feel defenseless and resort to using their teeth. Julie did have claws and could fight back but she hated being cornered by her roommate.

It wasn’t until Julie passed away that Sebastian discovered that Harold even existed.

On a scale of ten Harold rates his enjoyment of Sebastian as only a five, considering moments of “cuteness,” maybe a six. But there were also times when the tabby’s approval sank into Richard Nixon territory. Those teeth.

A good diet with occasional table scraps, visits to the vet, a clean and safe place to live, Harold provided everything a pet could ask for. He believes Sebastian took life on Hinman Avenue for granted. He had never foraged in the alley or needed to outsmart the coyotes.

As Harold gave us updates on Sebastian’s decline he showed the concern and exhaustion common to caregivers. “You can love a cat without liking him.” he told us. “Liking is an emotion, loving is a responsibility.”

Costs of Barcelona Trip

01/09/2015 by Pat Shiplett Leave a Comment

Just Your Average 69-Year-Old College Freshman.

Friends have asked if it’s possible for an older person to enjoy Barcelona on a tight student budget. Not only is it possible, it’s easy. My two-month stay, for example, came in just under $400,000.

Right from the start you can save $392,000* by skipping the pre-departure, hip-replacement option. I needed it but maybe you don’t. Ask your doctor if titanium body parts are right for you.

Lying in an orthopedic post-op unit under the influence of an anesthesia drip (cheap at $5000* per operation), I had this epiphany — I’d like to go for a walk and why not Barcelona?

Food and entertainment aren’t included in my budget because they were about the same as if I had stayed home. I didn’t do tourist stuff and the tap water is free (it’s safe but my hair stopped growing the second month).

You can find a nice enough apartment that costs much less than a hotel and just a little more than student housing, a place where you wouldn’t mind having the flu. Most nights I’d fix something to eat and take my laptop out on the porch.

The dollar started strong and got even stronger. When you’re on a tight student budget, every one one/thousandth of a euro helps.