1984 Good to be smart quote
Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman
“It’s good to be smart, bad to be stupid.”
— from today’s lecture
Footnotes to get into harvard
Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman
A boy like me at Harvard.
“It all depends on your footnotes.” said my professor. Any fool can get the first citation onto a page, he was looking in my direction. The second time you cite the same source you list only author and page, or even better, you can use “Ibid.”
But to give Harvard a real woody, you need one last level of sophistication. Foreign terms should be italicized like this—Ibid (use your imagination, ital doesn’t show on FB). Perfect! You’re as good as admitted, you can start memorizing the Crimson fight song. (And to think I almost skipped the lecture that day.)
Oakton Daycare
Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman
Last-minute cramming for college exams is so common there’s a name for it—it’s called “pulling an all-nighter.” There are students in my classes who pull another kind of all-nighter—staying up and walking the floor with Baby. They’re called “parents.”
Our campus has an Early Childhood Education Center that invites students to bring their child to school with them. They can attend classes and study all day without worrying about a babysitter. Financial assistance is available. You and I pay for this program—it’s cheaper than prisons and the inmates are a lot cuter, assuming they’ve had their naps.
Spring Break – Mayo Clinic
Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman
It’s not too early in the semester to prepare for spring break (as you know, college freshmen always plan ahead). At this point I’m leaning toward Minnesota. They know how to party. Someone will ask me to take my clothes off as soon as I get there.
Dead White Male – shakespeard
Just Your Average 68-Year-Old College Freshman
I’m about a close to being a Dead White Male as you can get without being—you know—dead. Actuarial tables will eventually have their way with all of us.
You won’t see a lot of DWMs walking the halls here. Those darlings of West-Civ literature, philosophy and human affairs are hiding out in the English, history and philosophy departments. They’ve taken a real hit over these four decades and it’s partly their own fault. They insist on using dated syntax, they don’t show up for sensitivity training.
During the Decade When Everything Changed, women, ethnic groups, the conquered and exploited, and the merely forgotten rose up in unison to ask the question, “What are we, chopped liver?” The answer is not anymore, at least not in the world of higher education.
You can still study the old white dead guys but you have to look carefully to find them. They may be wearing disguises.
