TO: Young women who send Facebook friend requests to guys like us
FROM: Guys who are overweight, balding and maybe a little past our prime
It’s always flattering to get a friend request, especially from an attractive woman you don’t know. Chemicals are released. I checked around with my buddies, this sort of thing seems to happening a lot lately.
Nobody’s complaining. You ladies seem nice enough and if I may say so, your photos look like they’re taken by professional fashion photographers. Nice hair all around.
But you know what seems strange? That you don’t have more than one or two friends on your Facebook pages; and that the same guy shows up as the only mutual friend we have in common and that he’s got too many consonants in his name.
Also, nobody’s heard of the alma mater listed on your profile. How do yellow-haired, Nordic beauties end up at a university in a failed state? And if you don’t mind us asking, where are your work narratives? Speak slowly and use small words — men our age have a tough time understanding the Bit Coin economy,
You’re looking for friends. We get that. We’ve been there ourselves.
But you need to understand that the stereotype of older guys as good listeners isn’t necessary true. It depends entirely on who you’re talking to and on the level of ambient noise present at any given time.
Have you thought about volunteering? Volunteering’s supposed to be good.
