Fallen Angels, 2, Foodstamps

Dick and Jane hate welfare programs. They’ll tell you how welfare makes poor people even poorer, and lazier.

The young White House staffers met and fell in love while shaping messages in favor of slashing nutrition programs.

Since losing their jobs when a new president was inaugurated, Jane and Dick have maxed out their credit cards and over the years Jane has hit up her parents and grandparents one time too many.

Things being what they are, they’ve agreed that until they’re gainfully employed again, they’ll hold their noses and accept a bit of welfare themselves. Ayn Rand can go fuck herself.

They were disappointed to learn they’d have to pay for chardonnays and cabs out of their own pocket.