People at a coffee shop
The morning’s short, impromptu memorial service was all the more moving for being unplanned and unscripted.
Linnea and Ian stopped in to introduce Tristan to the coffee shop that Linnea and her father loved.
Her father is gone, she told me. We spent a moment sharing what that loss means. Ian’s father had died as well, so the birth of Tristan was providential.
Linnea and her sister Jordan grew up with Neil. On the mornings when she could sleep in, she’d wander down past the couple doors to our corner coffee shop to greet her father.
He would already have spent hours with the likes of Joyce, Dickens, Austen, Faulkner, Flaubert, Stevens, and Eliot. Neil was a published poet himself and he used literature to explain “life’s greatest treasures and worst vices” to his daughters.
Neil Lukatch taught people to think. He was much sought after as a tutor for ACTs, LSATs and personalized learning strategies. (This from a guy who owned a comic-book store?)
When Neil and I got to know each other, we discovered that Linnea and my son were friends from high school and that Neil had tutored Ben.
Our friendship was built around the hamburger. Scouring suburbs for the best of the best provided the perfect guy excuse for two old men to make plans and get out of the house.
More than anything else we talked about being fathers. We liked to think that meeting our paternal responsibilities to the best of our ability would make up for our wild years.
To my blog’s question of “What’s the most important thing your father taught you?” Neil sent this: “How to love a child! There isn’t even a close second best.” He passed that wisdom on to Linnea.
The table where he liked to sit is now often claimed by a fascinating guy who reads and rereads the same impenetrable works of literature that Neil dedicated his life to. He is not Neil. 
Ramona Pei
Pat, me encanta esta historia! Me toca el corazon.Lo más importante lección que me enseño mi padre es que ser una buena persona y siempre vivir con alegría.
Pat Shiplett
¡Gracias, Ramona! Tengo miedo de que hoy en dia los padres son un poco despreciados en los medios de communicaciones. Neil confirma el papel que los padre llenan en las vidas de sus hijas y hijos.
nicholas armbrust
Thanks for the story. The time and skill it took to create it continues to amaze me. Well done is my usual praise. My Dad left me with the idea to help others the best I can, and to not wait to be as asked for my help, just do it. It’s much easier than I imagined, and frequently just a surprise for the recipient. It’s worked well for me. Thanks, Patrick for the read.
Pat Shiplett
Nick, my memories of father, my Uncle John, are of a kind and friendly man. This post is in honor of him and you and fathers everywhere.
Pat Shiplett
¡Gracias, Ramona! Tengo miedo de que hoy en dia los padres son un poco despreciados en los medios de communicaciones. Neil confirma el papel que los padre llenan en las vidas de sus hijas y hijos.
Janet Trierweiler
What a beautiful story Pat. A lovely tribute to your friend, his daughter, son-in-law, grandson and good parenting!
Pat Shiplett
Thanks, Janet. I was touched that Linea, Ian and Tristan stopped in to say hello.
Nancy Meyer
Thanks for this message. So sad!
Pat Shiplett
It was sad, Nancy. But it was touching that Neil’s family stopped in to say hello.
Judith Tobi Eisenbert
Brought a tear to my eye! What a beautiful daughter. What a beautiful family.
Sorry for your loss! Neil sounds like a soul the world needs more of and I hope you found the perfect hamburger together.
Pat Shiplett
Judith, You and Neil would have been charmed by each other. Just a good guy all around.
Norman Ewald
Salud, To Neil and to the eternal gift of fathering.
Norm
Pat Shiplett
And to new grandfathers everywhere, including you, who are learning Portuguese.
Edna Grad
Forgive my not-to-the-point question: I think I knew Neil, even if I didn’t remember his name when you first mentioned him in the context of the story in progress. Was he the bearded, good-looking guy with the nice smile, who didn’t come in that frequently, but has been a denizen for years?
If that was he, what happened to him? He was too young to die!
Pat Shiplett
Edna, I think Neil is the person you’re thinking of. A really interesting guy. Quite the free spirit.
He passed away at approximately 70 years of age