“The Robert” began to model himself after the only man powerful enough to save the country from itself.
For a kid of his age, he watches more that his share of C-Span.
He doesn’t care about the issues but he likes to study powerful people and how they control others. He likes how President Trump calls people names and uses outrageous sarcasm to duck questions.
Everybody laughs. Sometimes they cheer. “He’s authentic!”
The boy always kept his hair long so when he decided to sweep it across his forehead, all he needed was hairspray. At the same time, he began to pretend he didn’t hear people when they called him Bobby.
I’m “The Robert,” he insisted. When a seventh-grader used his deprecated name, he made up something ugly about her. He was surprised at how nicely it vaporized her. Like she never existed.
“Everyone loves me,” he would tell everyone. Strutting and bloviating, he came to dominate the entire school.
As they did every other Sunday, the boy’s family went to his grandparents. His aunts, uncles and cousins hooted with approval when he told them he was The Robert. They begged him to do his Trump routine during dinner.
“Aunt Caroline is a fat slob,” he announced as potatoes were passed. Everyone laughed because they were fed up with WOKE correctness. Besides it wouldn’t hurt Caroline to loose a few pounds.
The Robert told his cousin she’s a huge loser — H-U-G-E loser.
“Everybody makes fun of Jason during gym,” he informed the gathering. He reproached his father for not having an advanced degree. He taunted their housekeeper with a fake Guatemalan accent.
After dinner his grandmother told the boy she had a gift for him. She’s a thoughtful woman, barely five feet tall, an adoring grandmother. She has each of her nine grandkids believing they are her favorite.
She invited the boy into the living room. When they were alone she pulled him close and held him long enough for it to mean something. She took a half step back to look at him, she paused just briefly and then she slapped him hard, but not as hard as she could have.
