Fiction
“The Robert” began to model himself after the president who single-handedly saved the country from itself.
For a kid his age, he watches more that his share of C-Span.
He doesn’t care about wonky issues but he likes to study powerful people. He’s especially impressed by how they call people names and use outrageous lies to humiliate them.
The boy kept his hair long so when he decided to sweep it across his forehead, all he needed was hairspray. At the same time, he began to pretend he didn’t hear kids when they called him Bobby.
I’m “The Robert,” he insisted. When a seventh-grader used his old name, he made up rumors that destroyed her. It felt good.
Strutting and bloviating – “everyone loves me” – he came to dominate his school.
As they did every Sunday, his family went to his grandparents. His aunts, uncles and cousins hooted with laughter when he launched into his Trump routine.
“Aunt Caroline’s a fat slob,” he announced as potatoes were passed. The Robert told his cousin she was a H-U-G-E loser. “Jason wimps out during gym.” He reproached his father for not having an advanced degree and taunted the housekeeper with a fake Guatemalan accent.
After dinner his grandmother invited him into the living room. She’s an adoring woman and each of her nine grandkids believe they’re her favorite.
When they were alone she pulled Bobby close and held him long enough for it to mean something. She took a step back to look at him, paused briefly and then she slapped him hard, but not as hard as she could have.
Randy Gaynes
Good for granny for slapping the poor Robbie-baby.mKeep the stories coming, Pat. Always a pleasure tor read.
Pat Shiplett
There is hope yet, Randy.
Anne Taubeneck
Gotta say, I’m with Grams. Another great one, Pat.
Pat Shiplett
Thanks, Anne. Hairspray is a sure sign of trouble.
Judith Tobi Eisenberg
What a great story! Hopefully it’s fictitious. I have to kill the little fucker just like I would like to kill that big fucker Trump.
Pat Shiplett
Judith, I’d like to think that even the most admiring supporters of Donald Trump are teaching their kids that he’s not a person to imitate. Let’s hope! Pat
Chris Walker
Wow that’s a good one.
Pat Shiplett
Thank you, Chris. Seems more important than ever to show our kids how to treat each other.
Trish Lapkus
Re: The Robert… I’m afraid there are many young boys doing much the same, and not enough grandmothers to slap them.
Pat Shiplett
Trish, I hope we can put this ugly era behind is with the upcoming election.