“ I’m sorry you’re suffering, my son.
“I know you’re not Catholic but don’t worry, you don’t even have to be Christian to be forgiven.
“How have you sinned?” The priest asked.
“I did messaging for the Trump White House.”
“Ouch! No wonder your conscience is killing you.”
“I made folks believe 2020 was stolen and incited a coup. I betrayed ancestors who fell at Bunker Hill. I’m desperate to confess and stop these headaches.”
“You might need a defense lawyer more than you need a priest. Crimes are above our pay grade.
“But I can help with your sins.
“Are you ready to ask forgiveness and resolve to never again commit your sins.”
A silence hung over the confession booth.
“Hypothetically,” Dick asked, “how long does ‘never again’ have to last?” 
